Thursday, June 25, 2009

Chemo Brain

This is a term very commonly used among us receiving chemotherapy. Basically, all the chemicals being pumped into your body start to effect your brain. This tends to manifest itself with memory loss and brain farts. I thought I'd share an example of the ultimate chemo brain.

As most of you know, I won a karaoke contest back in May at Infamous Idol. To recap, I sang Alanis Morrisette's "You Ought to Know" sans hat or wig, and won a weekend getaway to Saugatuck, Michigan. It was just what Seth and I needed! The weekend was set for the end of June and we were stoked.

Since the house had two bedrooms, our good friends Robyn and Cliff had the weekend free and decided to join us. It was all set. I packed up the car and the dog, picked up Seth from work on Thursday night, and we were on our way to a weekend of warm summer breezes and relaxation.

We got into Saugatuck around 9pm. We got a little turned around looking for the house, but I had my iphone and some verbal directions from the owner. We finally pulled up to the third driveway, parked the car and unloaded our belongings. We used our keys and entered our weekend cottage. We were hungry and tired so we threw down our stuff and dove into our jalapeno pizza (this was a mistake on a few levels.) We started to explore the house, and it looked nice enough to the naked eye. Two bedrooms, one bathroom a deck and a screened in porch. The hosts even left us a few Rolling Rocks, which I promptly cracked open with my pizza. The weekend had begun.

Upon further review, the house looked like it hadn't been lived in for months, and smelled like an old woman. It was really dusty and dirty and there were some dead bugs, which please Birdie to no end. I even found a half dead grass hopper in her mouth. The groceries in the fridge were filled with maggots, which I ignored in fear that I might vomit. Combine those facts with the fact that there was no central air, so I couldn't sleep, and the fact that I am a huge wuss, and you get an unhappy girl. But, we persevered and decided to make the best of it. After all, it was free.

It rained on Friday so we spend most of the day inside, reading magazines on the screened in porch after we washed down all the furniture and put sheets over everything. Robyn and Cliff arrived on Friday, in a torrential downpour, and they headed up to their bedroom, which was really a glorified attic. They didn't tell us this until later, but their sheets were filled with sand and dirt, so they slept on top of the covers the first night and washed the sheets the next day. Ay, yi, yi... I'm glad I have such good friends.

We went to a great dinner on Friday night, had an awesome day shopping on Saturday, followed by another fantastic night. Needless to say, we were ready to get out of that house by Sunday morning, and proceeded to do so before 9am. It was a nice weekend, not really what we expected, but we were still extremely grateful to have such a great opportunity. To be honest, I left needing another vacation.

Monday morning rolls around and I get an email from the owner of the house. She was checking in to see if everything is ok because we didn't make it to Michigan this weekend.


I calmly called her back and told her that we were, indeed, in Michigan last weekend. Yep, you got it, we stayed at the wrong house. The key worked in the lock, or we thought it did, and we opened the door. Apparently we were squatting the entire weekend. At any minute during our stay, the owners could have come home and called the police. We would have countered by calling the cleaning police, but that wouldn't hold up in court. The house we were supposed to stay in was down the block, and let me tell you, it is gorgeous. The owner said she left some wine and other gifts in the house, and was alarmed when they went untouched. I wanted to say, "Yeah, we were alarmed that your house was such a pit!" but instead, we both had a good laugh, then started our quest to find out where in the hell we stayed, since I left her keys on the table per her request! Luckily, she has a broker friend who got to the bottom of it, and promptly told us that she wouldn't stay in that house if you paid her. Awesome.

It's a great story, one that we won't forgot, but I can't help but be a little creeped out. We stayed in some old lady's bed! I drank a beer! We used their mucinex! Sick! The host of the other house, the beautiful house, invited us back in the fall, and we can't wait to experience Saugatuck, this time, without the bugs and dirt! I blame it all on my chemo brain, not having the right mind set to realize that we were at the wrong house, even after it had given us so many clues. On the bright side, I can officially say that I've been camping!


  1. And...I just saw this now. Hi-larious.

  2. oh my GOODNESS! that is the craziest thing EVER. PLEASE go back. Oh, wow.